I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
