no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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