Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
