Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
