I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
