she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
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