i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
