They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
