I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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