Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize