so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
