he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
