am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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