You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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