I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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