Your mouth is God's brothel.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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