no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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