Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
