It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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