So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
