Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
