farters have to be the big spoon...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
