I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
