I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
