I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
