My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
