You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
