You surviving the open bar?
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You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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