bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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