he thought i was a dude.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
