Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
