So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
