i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
