ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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