Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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