real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
