Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
