he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
