it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I supernannyed him into submission
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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