? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
