omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
