I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
