U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
