Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
