And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
You work out of a Hotel?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
