I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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