"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Randomize
