is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
