I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
