Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Randomize
