I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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