I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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