I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
