Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Randomize
