I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
