Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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