Can Purell be used as lube?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
