I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
