hell yes lets make some ravioli
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Randomize
