I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
