Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
