he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
