At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
